We Are Not In Kansas Anymore: Managing Cross Cultural Conflict (Part 2 of 2)

Have you ever heard the saying by Ralph Waldo Emerson?

“Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

It is an interesting thought in that in many ways our words do not always align with either our body language or for that matter our true feelings.  Like the wife who asks the husband if the dress she is wearing makes her look heavy or the husband, sporting a new haircut, asks if he looks good, depending on your point of view, the response could be either positive or negative.

Scenarios such as these are magnified when different cultures merge in a macaronic mix augmented by beliefs and customs.  This can easily lead to misunderstandings that despite one’s best efforts can derail a collaborative effort.

When conflict arises within groups that are composed of individuals from different backgrounds or cultures, fast and certain action is required to diffuse the potential problems that will negatively impact the ability of the team to work together effectively.

If you find yourself party to a cultural meltdown, adopt an instant attitude of genuine curiosity and interest.  With the right mindset, you are now ready to follow these winning steps you need to take to bridge the cultural gap and get back on track again:

1. To start, re-establish the whole purpose or reason for the group being assembled in the first place.  According to R. Roosevelt Thomas, Jr., author of the book “Building a House for Diversity,” it’s critical that the company’s mission and goals are communicated clearly and often, and that the workplace is driven by business requirements rather than personal preferences, traditions or conveniences.”  Or to be more concise, focus on the task at hand and recognize the fact that in any group whether multi-cultural or not, a certain degree of conflict is both healthy and necessary to getting to the best results.  A kind of “if both of us are always in agreement, then one of us is redundant” perspective.

2. Even though disagreements are bound to occur as a normal part of the collaborative process, seek to first gain a clear understanding for the reasons behind the other team member’s position.  I find that in these circumstances, it’s usually a good idea to first seek to understand and avoid misunderstandings.  Misunderstandings need to be corrected quickly.  When you ask people for their viewpoints, it shows that you respect their knowledge and opinions and are prepared to be objective.

• Ask closed-ended questions to see if you were clear, if the information was useful, etc.
• Ask open-ended questions to uncover any ideas or problems that you may have overlooked.

3. Once you believe that you have a handle on the source of the disagreement, in explaining your position relative to the company’s mission and goals, be certain to avoid using culturally-centric jargon or slang as well as metaphors as this can only lead to further confusion.  In short, be respectfully direct using as few words as possible in explaining your position to the other member.

Give the person time to express themselves.

• Listen quietly.
• Maintain physical position.
• Wait until they have verbalized their feelings.
• Use their name.

Avoid red flag words which can definitely sound accusatory:

• “You should” or “You’re wrong” or “That’s impossible” or “That’s ridiculous”

4. Never forget that in a team environment,  there is no such thing as individual winners or losers, but instead adhere to a united we stand, divided we fall mindset.  This will remove the potential for disagreements to become personal.

Respond rather than react. Projecting an attitude of openness will encourage participation and help achieve consensus from your colleagues. This quality is displayed by how you respond to people when they question your statements or opinions. Avoid reacting as they may simply be asking for clarification.

• Paraphrase to verify what the person has asked before you answer.

Say “Let me check – are you saying that….”

• If you feel attacked, focus on the situation or behavior, not the person.

Say “I understand your concern. Let’s try to come up with some options.”

5. Finally, if you do have any pre-conceived ideas regarding other cultures, check those at the door.  While you will still need to be sensitive to the differences of the other team members who come from different parts of the world, your communication will be more objective and therefore effective if unencumbered by unproductive sentiments.

What is interesting is that the above tips can be applied to any team environment whether culturally diverse or not.

By following these guidelines, when everything is said and done, you will be able to establish the level of rapport that will make the collaborative process within multi-cultural groups both enjoyable and productive.

In the meantime, if you have any questions regarding how to interact with a person from a specific cultural background drop me a line through the comment section of this blog post or, send me an e-mail at rozusheroff@gmail.com.

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Deputy Attorney Fired For Comments Made on His Twitter Account: Why Your Reputation On-Line Is More Important Than Your Net Worth

INDIANAPOLIS — An Indiana deputy attorney general was fired Wednesday after he suggested — among many provocative remarks on a private Twitter account and blog — that police use live ammunition to clear union protesters from the state Capitol in Wisconsin.

from the February 24th, 2011 USA Today article “Ind. official fired for remarks on Twitter” by Chris Sikich and Mary Beth Schneider, The Indianapolis Star

I absolutely agree that a new social class is emerging on the Internet.  To take it a step further, people are forming impressions just from your social and business profiles.  And once impressions are formed, they are even more difficult to change because they move into another tier called your reputation.

Your reputation is very fragile however.  Once it gets tarnished, it is so difficult to repair.  Not having a face to face opportunity, you can’t fix your demeanor quite as easily.  As human beings we are always judging others.  We ask ourselves if we like this person, do we want to do business with them, are they honorable?  And most important, can they be trusted. (Which is why photos on community sites like Facebook and LinkedIn count).

I see your net worth being determined by your ability to build a reputation that is consistent on any medium. It’s not about money but having built a negative reputation will definitely impact on your ability to generate income in the future.

Is Your Reputation Bubble About To . . . Burst?

Building a brand online and in person must be of the same fabric.  You can work 24/7 but destroy that persona by posting inappropriate comments about your company, boss, etc.  Suddenly your net worth for future opportunities have fallen by the wayside. That’s why forming relationships virtually and in person are key to your future opportunities.  Isn’t it better to have others toot your own horn than you doing it?

So, your net worth is how you build your reputation or to phrase it in another way, it’s how others perceive you.  Honor and treasure your reputation as you only have one and make sure every touch point, from your emails, voice mails, handshake, blogging articles and your perceived value are in alignment.  Think of the impact of your behavior at all times and the decisions you make.  Are you paying a huge price for being so direct that you are seen as difficult to know or work with?

I work with companies scattered across borders and have come to realize that information about you can be circulated in seconds.  Keep aware of what others are saying or writing about you. Practice extreme caution when you write or speak your mind.  You have only one chance to form a first impression and no chance when your reputation is destroyed. To prevent your reputation from being questioned, invest in building and sustaining relationships. At best you will have champions who can defend you.  In conclusion, you must have continuity in who you are online as well as offline. That’s what will define your net worth in the future.

Need further proof about the importance of your on-line persona . . . just ask Dave!

Also remember to check out Roz’s books and CDs . . .

Click here to visit the store . . .

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(Guest Leader Post) Three Lessons Business People Can Learn from Politicians

Today’s Guest Leader Post contributor is Karen Friedman whose latest book Shut Up and Say Something: Business Communication Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Influence Listeners (Praeger 2010) is now available at www.shutupandsaysomething.com

As I exited Amtrak at Philadelphia’s 30th Street Station and made my way to the escalator destined upward to the grand train lobby, the oddest thing happened. The moving staircase that was still packed with people heading down to the train platform suddenly changed directions and headed up. Like a scene from a bad You Tube clip, surprised passengers stumbled over their own feet trying to walk down the up staircase while spectators laughed out loud when all of a sudden, the irony of the situation struck me.

How often do we step backward when trying to move forward? How frequently are our personal and professional goals thwarted with unanticipated hurdles that threaten to prevent us from accomplishing our goals? The lesson is not in the answers to these questions but rather how we learn to turn these mis-steps to our advantage. I believe some of the best examples can be found in political campaigns which can teach leaders volumes about communicating more effectively in today’s fast-paced attention challenged workplace.

About a decade ago, I ran for the Pennsylvania state house and lost in one of the closest state races in the Commonwealth’s history.  At the time, I was hard at work building my own business which included coaching and training members of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives. The state representative in my district had received a lot of negative press for allegedly smacking his girlfriend in public so opposing party leadership saw a good opportunity to reclaim the seat and thought tapping a former television reporter with name recognition was a great strategy. When I was first approached, I laughed out loud as the conversation went something like this.

Leadership: “How would you like to run for PA House?’
Me: “Not a chance.”
Leadership: “Why not?”
Me: “Should I tell you the truth or tell you what you want to hear?”
Leadership: “Oh please, we want the truth.”
Me: “For starters, I’ve interviewed hundreds of politicians and was never that impressed so no offense, but I have no real desire to be like any of you.”

Then I signed up.

Like any product, promise, service or idea, the key is to inspire and motivate so people believe in what you’re selling. As an example, politicians have to sell themselves every time they speak. Let’s say a candidate appears warm, friendly and sincere but when you meet them in person, they are scowling, not as happy as they appeared on TV, offer a droopy handshake and seem distracted as you speak to them. You would probably re-think your decision to vote for that person just as you would probably not be inclined to follow their lead in the workplace.

While social networks were not as prominent when I ran for office, they were already forcing people to have conversations in order to motivate and empower others. That meant talking with listeners instead of at them as I had learned form a twenty year career in television news. When we interviewed people, they wanted to share their stories. When we edited it for broadcast, we wanted snippets of information that made our viewers and listeners feel what it must have been like to be at the scene of that story. That meant making information relevant to others.

Step One: Keep the Conversation Real

When I ran for office, urban sprawl was a hot issue and my opponent was a member of the township planning commission and a self proclaimed topic expert. Every time we were both questioned about it, she talked from experience and was usually quoted. I was not. That’s when I realized I needed to keep the conversation real and speak people’s language so I changed my approach. The next time I was interviewed I said: “Traffic has gotten so bad out here in Montgomery County, that I could balance my checkbook on the way home from work.” Granted, you don’t need a college education to come up with that one, but it resonated with readers and every time I said it, I got quoted so of course, I said it all the time.

Politicians understand the importance of using real life examples and story telling to impact listeners but business communicators often lag behind fearing what’s appropriate in other settings is not appropriate in the workplace. Quite the opposite is true. In medicine, it’s the stories of sick patients that inspire researchers to search for cures. In war time, we cling to stories that offer hope about people who have overcome insurmountable odds. The stories of grief, hope and optimism that immediately followed the horrific events of September 11, 2001 are forever etched into our personal and national psyche. Stories are real and create rapport communicators need to share if they hope to drive the message home.

Step Two: Be Accountable

In my campaign office, we had a young woman in charge of our door to door walking campaign. It was up to her to determine what neighborhoods we canvassed and how many times we returned. There was a big map in the office with colored pins stuck on streets that illustrated where we had trudged. Shortly before the election, I noticed we missed an entire section of the district. When I questioned her, she became very defensive and claimed her strategy never included campaigning in this area. As it turned out, she made a mistake and was embarrassed to admit it. If she had taken responsibility, we could have changed course and potentially secured additional votes.

When people are unaccountable, they often make excuses, blame others or play dumb which can create an atmosphere of mistrust. In campaigns as well as business, accepting responsibility and not being afraid to say you erred in judgment makes you real and can actually increase confidence in your ability to lead.

Step Three: Have Heart 

My older son was only nine during my short lived political career but he taught me a lesson I will never forget. It was a very competitive race where many people said they would only vote their party regardless of personal beliefs. On election night, my son and husband were assigned to hand out literature at a polling place. Every time someone would walk in the door, he would run up to them, hand out my flyer and scream “vote for my mom”. On the way out of the voting booth, an older man grabbed my husband’s arm and said: “I’ve never voted for another party in my life until tonight and I did it because of your son.”

Without knowing it, this nine year old instinctually knew that politicians can’t win races without good grassroots organizations, but more importantly, he cut through the politics and grabbed at their hearts.

NOTE:  Be sure to tune in to the April 26th Remarkable Leaders Radio Show, when I will be talking with Karen about her new book Shut Up And Say Something.

About Karen:

Karen Friedman is a professional communication coach, speaker and chief improvement officer at Karen Friedman Enterprises (www.karenfriedman.com). She is the author of “Shut Up and Say Something: Business Communication Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Influence Listeners” and winner of the 2011 Enterprising Woman of the Year Award.

Click Book Cover to order your copy today!

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(Guest Leader Post) The Actual Value of Motivation and Engagement in the Workplace

Today’s Guest Leader Post contributor is Jim Bouchard (http://jimbouchard.org/)

In his seminal book Good To Great, author Jim Collins made the assertion that “if you have the right people on your bus, you don’t need to worry about motivating them. The right people are self-motivated.”

So here is the question . . . if you get the right people on the bus in terms of hiring the “right people” from the get go, does the concept of management motivating employees to achieve their highest work potential fly out the window?

As we ponder this question, I am pleased to share with you by way of the SlideShare Viewer below a copy of Think Like A Black Belt author Jim Bouchard’s popular white paper The Actual Value of Motivation and Engagement in the Workplace.

Remember to share your thoughts regarding the question on motivation in the comment section below, as well as tune in to the March 29th Remarkable Leaders Radio Show, when I will be interviewing Jim on the key highlights from his paper.

About Jim: 

Jim Bouchard Thinks Like a Black Belt; of course, he is one!… 

…he’ll help you Think Like a Black Belt too!

Martial arts transformed Jim’s self-perception from former drug abuser and failure to successful entrepreneur and Black Belt. As a speaker and author of Amazon bestseller Think Like a Black Belt, Jim tours nationally presenting his philosophy of Black Belt Mindset for corporate and conference audiences. He’s a regular guest on TV and radio programs including FOX News, BBC Worldview and FOX Across America.

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New Remarkable Leaders Radio Series To Air on Blog Talk Radio

The new Winter 2012 Line-Up on the PI Window on Business Network has just been announced, and what promises to be one of the most interesting and popular segments is the Remarkable Leaders Series.

Leadership Radio at its BEST!

Featuring thought leaders from the world of business, the main focus of the 45 minute segment is to provide listeners with an insiders view of how some of the most proficient executives and entrepreneurs tackle the everyday challenges we all face in achieving our individual goals.

Over the coming weeks we will be announcing what we are certain will be a most impressive list of guests, so stay tuned  as we work together to make 2012 your most successful and rewarding year yet.

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